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Techniques

Does Fear Have A Hold On You?

By October 8, 2021No Comments

Hey and welcome to our blog.

Every week I’ll be diving into important topics surrounding men’s health, men’s mental health and giving actionable steps for growth and progress in personal, business and professional life.

Today, I’m going to be talking about the fear and fear of the unknown.

I’ve had few men come to me recently wanting to overcome this challenge. It’s affecting their decision making and generally holding them back. So, I thought I’d go into a little more detail with this topic.

So, the fear of the unknown is actually a big issue for a lot of men I speak to. Maybe you experience it or I’m sure you know someone that does. It can be pretty debilitating and have a knock on effect to a fair few aspects of our lives.

It’s not something we just come out with though. We’re unlikely to go telling people that we fear the unknown.

How It Manifests…

It will usually manifest itself in different ways.

  • A lack of decision making
  • Making decisions that we wouldn’t usually make that are out of character
  • Procrastination.

Fear is also difficult to talk to others about at times because the fear is in our own heads and we all have different perspectives on things, which we often feel others won’t understand.

Trying to tell someone why it is we are fearful is challenging.

It requires vulnerability and that for us men is not something we tend to be great at. Although, I’m glad to say that this is changing.

So, let’s break it down. A fear of the unknown is essentially anything that is out of our comfort zone and it’s often the case that we love a bit of comfort.

Lucky for us, and you’ll be able to recall some experiences yourself I’m sure, we can expand our comfort zones little by little which in turn will reduce the impact the fear or fear of the unknown will have on us.

I read something recently and it said that fear is down to a lack of education of what it is and that it’s part of life.

It said that the the thing we are fearful of, the unknown for example, isn’t what we are actually afraid of but it’s that we can’t handle whatever comes our way.

If we knew with certainty that we could handle anything that comes our way, why would we fear?

I like this because it therefore comes down to us having belief in ourselves and building a strong foundation and toolkit to have at our disposal for dealing with things and handling them.

Everyone experiences fear, it’s the ones who know that they can handle what’s out there that excel and see fear in a different light.

Actionable Steps…

So, let’s get into a couple of things we can do to help with fear and fear of the unknown.

  • First things first and that is reflecting on whether you can take small steps out of your comfort zone. Of course you can. Start small and build up. What this does is every time you do it, it expands your comfort zone and it begins to build confidence that you can handle it and build self credibility. Think of it like a long stair case, if you were to start by going up the stairs one at a time you would be tired and challenged yes but you would also find it more manageable and you’d build resilience and fitness. You’d then have the confidence to start taking 2 steps at a time, again tired and challenged but because you started small you’ve got the foundations to keep going. If you’d started by jumping 2 steps straight away you’d burn out pretty quick and that fear could take hold. It’s about being smart.
  • Then, dive into your fear of the unknown and fears in general and get to know it. We tend to turn away from the things that we’re fearful of hoping that they’ll go away but when we do this we limit growth and that fear rarely goes anywhere. Similar to our shadow, turn away from it and you can’t see it but it’s still there even when we can’t see it. What’s in your shadow, take a look and get interested.
  • Look at the FACTS of the situation, this is something you may have heard me say before. We’re very good at making up stories of what the unknown could bring when in actual fact we haven’t got a clue in most cases. So, if that’s true we should look to the positive instead.
  • Be as mindful as you can. Slow down and calm your thoughts. If they are going too fast there’s no way we can challenge them and rationalise. Slow them down every now and then and we may have an opportunity to break them down.

Have a play around with those and see how it helps you deal with your fears and fear of the unknown.

We need to develop trust that we can deal with things because if we want to grow then we are going to have to do just that. However, practice makes progress, so let’s get out there and practice.

That’s it for today…

If you are interested in finding out more about what’s it’s like to have a men’s confidence and progress coach then go ahead and fill out an enquiry form and we’ll go from there.

P.S. I have recorded a podcast episode on this as well if you wanted a listen. You can listen on Spotify HERE and Apple Podcasts HERE.